Audits

When the IRS Comes a-Knockin'

If you get an IRS audit notice, you probably expect to spend hours responding to endless document requests, visiting bland government offices, and meeting with faceless bureaucrats. You might hope you get lucky and find yourself assigned to a pleasant, friendly examiner, one who acknowledges how intrusive and annoying the audit process can be. But you certainly wouldn't expect to wind up in bed with the auditor!

Vincent Burroughs is a 40ish contractor and amateur motorcycle racer in Fall Creek, Oregon. When the economy collapsed in 2008, his business suffered and he got behind on his taxes. In 2011, the IRS came calling. The auditor, Dora Abrahamson, recognized him from his motorcycle racing, and apparently liked what she saw. Burroughs claims Abrahamson started flirting with him over the telephone and by text message ("[I] need a hug badly, do you have one?"), offered him massages, and even sent him a "selfie" in a revealing pose!

Are you sitting down?

Let's start by saying that no one likes getting audited. But the average income tax audit isn't the end of the world. For tax year 2012, the IRS audited just 1,481,966 returns out of over 143 million filed, or barely one in a hundred. And according to the IRS Databook, the average "deficiency notice" demanding more tax was just $10,331. That's nobody's idea of a party, of course. But it shouldn't bankrupt anyone who makes enough to owe that much extra tax.

Things are a little different when it comes to estate taxes. For starters, the tax applies to the value of your assets, not the income they produce. It doesn't kick in until your taxable estate after all deductions tops $5.25 million ($10.5 million per couple). But the tax itself is 40%, which is higher than the top income tax rate. With so much more at stake, the estate-tax audit percentage is naturally far higher than the percentage for income tax — for 2012, the IRS audited 3,762 out of 12,582 estate tax returns filed, or nearly one in three. As for the average deficiency, well, here's hoping you're sitting down — it's a whopping $305,529!

What's Not to "Like"?

Let's imagine, just for a minute, that you decided on a new line of work: ripping off the IRS. How do you think you would launch your new business? Maybe you'd open a secret bank account in one of those "sunny places for shady people" like the Cayman Islands or Bahamas. You might rent a secret flop house where you could hide evidence of your crimes. And you'd probably look for someone who could make you a fake passport, just in case the heat comes down and you have to flee the country under a secret identity.

You probably wouldn't post anything about your new career online, would you? Right? But if you're Rashia Wilson — the self-appointed "first lady of tax fraud" — you'd brag about it all on Facebook! Why play it safe and discreet when you can

You Think You Got Audited?

Getting an audit notice from the IRS isn't anyone's idea of a party. But it's not the end of the world. Usually the auditor just wants to make sure you're entitled to the breaks you've claimed. Did you really spend as much as you reported on meals & entertainment? Did you really spend enough hours managing your rental properties to qualify as a "real estate professional"? If the IRS finds a mistake, they issue a "deficiency notice" and bill you for what you owe. How bad can it really be?

Well, just ask Raymond J. Lane.

Don't Be Like These People

Last week, we talked about the IRS Criminal Investigation unit, which just released their Fiscal 2012 report. That report was filled with the sort of dry statistics you would expect from an IRS annual report: 5,125 total investigations launched, 202 crooked tax preparers indicted, 199 identity thieves sent to prison, and 64 months average time behind bars for money launderers. But the report also includes dozens of stories of tax cheats who really just should have known better — and some whose stories are so entertaining we just had to share them. Are you having a bad day? Well, be glad you're not one of these people!

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Our federal government devotes millions of man-hours and billions of dollars each year to law enforcement. The FBI, DEA, and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, along with lesser-known agencies like the U.S. FDA's Office of Criminal Investigations (pursuing criminal violations of food and drug laws), the Department of Commerce's Office of Export Enforcement (responsible for keeping dangerous technology out of the wrong hands), and NOAA's Fisheries Office for Law Enforcement (charged with protecting the ecosystem and marine life) all strike fear in at least somebody's heart.

But there's one agency that has an almost mythical power in most minds, and that's the IRS. The tax cops put Pete Rose and Wesley Snipes in jail. They put Al Capone in jail, for Pete’s sake! We'd all better watch out, right? Well, you be the judge. Last week, the IRS Criminal Investigation unit released their Fiscal 2012 annual report— and the findings might surprise you. Here are some of the highlights: